Here we go again

It just never gets easier to get the news that another tumor has been found on my MRI.

Last week as I was so lovingly greeted back to work by fantastic colleagues and students I had to say hello to yet another challenge. A new spot has grown near my spine (at the L2 vertebra, below the site of the large tumor removed in 2009) in the last six months to about 3cm across at its widest. While it is small compared to the first it is an unwanted growth nonetheless.

Snapped this picture while wandering around Key West. Where there's a will there's a way!

So begins the trek (again) to find the best solutions, the best providers, the strength to keep going. I am so thankful that I am not in pain, that I can head back to work part-time and feel peace knowing I am not alone.

Mostly, I don’t want to leave too soon. I love life so much. I love the thought of having really tall kids with David. Sometimes my mind wanders to thoughts of my classroom students, that perhaps they are the children I help raise instead of my own. After flushing out tears, I am somehow able to calm myself down knowing that there are no certainties, there is no way of knowing what opportunities lie ahead. We can make the best choices possible and yet other forces mingle and tug. So I appreciate all I do have; pulsing through me is enough self worth, and enough worth in all those who are part of me, to fight however hard I can.

So, here we go again.

5 responses

  1. Clare, you are by far the strongest person I know. I envy your strength and wish you the best as you navigate through this. I’m so happy you are able to work! The kids help so much, I love my students and I know you love yours. 🙂 Sending our love and prayers; Mo, Mike, and Mav

  2. Clare, this wasn’t the exact role we saw for you when we all met at play group – however you have become an eloquent and inspirational leader to us all. You show me by your strength, beauty and courage how to live life to the fullest even with a crappy hand. Still you have some Aces too. Your strong family, your steadfast and loving husband, and so many of us sending the power of the universe to you daily.
    My/our love Clare. Keep the plant in the wall image bright. It is an amazing photo.

  3. Oh Clare, I’m sorry for the crummy news. You look so strong and happy and I’m sure you’ll beat this one as well. I’m so looking forward to seeing your smiling face at work, it just makes my day a little bit brighter! Hey Friday is “burrito day” will you be there?

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