After 48 hours of feeling really excited about the prospect of a new clinical trial and doing all sorts of research about promising new treatments I realized that I just can’t do it right now. I got so overwhelmed with the prospect of new things to chase after and it left me feeling terrible. David has helped me so much to get to where I feel right now and where I have felt in the last two weeks – more alive and happier and healthier than ever before – so when I told him last night how I was feeling he reminded me that I need to do what I think is best for me.
Once I heard back from the researchers in Texas yesterday I immediately started to stress out at the prospect of having to call doctors offices, chase down medical records, start new tests, deal with health insurance and it was as if that stress itself was worse for my physical and mental health than any benefit of the new options. I haven’t given up hope that there will be something new down the line to try but right now I am fine. Today I am great and tomorrow I am pretty sure I will be too, so I need to stick with that.
I have filed away all the emails and links about trials, research, etc. but not thrown them away. I am looking forward to the next couple of months of not being a sick person before everything else. I know it’s in there and I know I can’t escape it but for now enjoying the process of becoming a mom and supporting David as his business grows is the best medicine I can give myself.
Yes, we are becoming parents. We are 11.5 weeks pregnant with one miracle baby that has survived an already challenging life! A truly kind, amazing woman is carrying our baby with so much love and nourishment. We had to thaw all 7 of our embryos and through the process we have arrived at one thriving, potentially really tall human that we can’t wait to meet and for you to meet, too. Due date is December 14. We will find out the sex in another few weeks.