Rough Patch


Two months ago our lives changed in the most profound way. Holding Sidney for the first time and every time to follow redefined love.

Today Sid is such a happy, healthy, strong, big boy. He loves baths, being swaddled, going for walks or car rides, and he is a good sleeper. We are so fortunate. David is a phenomenal father and my Mom is the most helpful, generous, loving, energetic person on the planet.

In these past two months I have been hit with something I never expected. I am struggling through the worst period of anxiety and depression I have every had – my beautiful but ever-challenging life flashed before me when I experienced the love for my very own child – and my normally positive, hopeful side just crumbled. Very slowly but surely I am trying to pick up the pieces, to regain physical and mental strength.

I have a long way yet. I am ever grateful for the chance I have had to share my stories with you here and I hope to get back to it.


3 responses

  1. Clare,
    This sounds like postnatal depression to me! I hope that your doctors are able to help you through this difficult time. The nights can be SO hard, and if you don’t get enough sleep you are almost bound to get depression and anxiety and other things too. I do hope that you can rest and enjoy Sid in real time. It’s so nice that your parents can see your through this, and David being the wonderful Dad that he’s being. sending you lots of love, Sandra

  2. Clare- thank you for the update. Such a challenging time for all of you. Amazing how such a profound love can shake things up!! New life, new feelings, new outlook on old issues. You have been through a lot of change the last couple of years. I’m proud of you for identifying what is going on… And for moving forward as you always do. You are an inspiration to many. Sending love and healing angels 👼👼 and a kiss to sweet Sidney!!

  3. …and you will pick up the pieces Clare, because you are one of the most resilient people I know. Yes, cancer and your body give you challenges and yet you are strong. Every single time you have picked up the pieces and placed them back together again. Resilient! You can only move forward. This post is proof that you are moving forward. Even if you don’t quite feel it yet. Its okay, you will in time. I love you so much and I wish I could just… lift you up in my arms and be strong for you. You’re doing it girl, one day-each step and eventually you’ll look back on this depression as yet another obstacle that you overcame. It’ll be a memory so far removed that you won’t even remember what it feels like with only the warmth of summer on your face.

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